I have found, over the years of my massage and healing experience, that the feeling of ‘no one listens to me’ is an issue that crops up quite frequently in people.
It is something I have always felt in myself in connection with my own relationship with my mother, so maybe having it crop up so often in my clients is just life’s way of showing me there is something more I need to understand about this issue that I have yet to understand.
After all, isn’t that what life is meant to do? To keep sending us the same lessons over and over again until we learn them.
And maybe the lesson is this:
Although you may feel that ‘no one listens to me’ is your issue and applies to you, the truth may be that it is not your issue and does not apply to you.
I grew up with a mother who I believed never listened to me. She had had many problems in her own life and her way of coping with them was to internalize them. So much so that she began to close herself off to life around her and to become totally caught up in her own issues. People do that.
This meant, that as a child, when I needed her help and cried out for her, she often did not come. This led to the feeling that no one listens to me. And it is, or was, a feeling that I kept with me into adulthood. In adulthood, I continued to believe no one listened to me.
But then two things happened. Or should I say, I suddenly realized two things.
1. People did actually listen to me. Students, clients, friends, family members. A lot of people did listen to me, although I never felt or believed it to be so.
2. My mother believed no one listened to her either. Something happened to her in her childhood which, when she tried talking about in her later years, her family shut her down by telling her that what she said happened did not happen. Sadly, I have no way of knowing if what she claimed happened did happen because my mother has since passed away and all I have is the remaining part of her family who say her claims are unfounded. However, if what she claimed happened did, in fact, happen, then the issue of ‘no one listens to me’ most certainly applies to her.
And because her issue of ‘no one listens to me’ was unresolved by the time she had me, the energy of that issue was passed on to me. I inherited the feeling of ‘no one listens to me’ from my mother.
Although I ended up carrying it in me, it was not my issue; it was my mother’s.
And that is why I continued to feel ‘no one listens to me’ although all outwards signs showed that people did listen to me.
And so, it may be for other people who feel ‘no one listens to me’.
Maybe people do listen to you. But you simply don’t feel they do.
Maybe the feeling of ‘no one listens to me’ is not your issue but the issue of one of your parents which you innocently inherited from them. It happens.
So, if you are someone who feels ‘no one listens to me’, can you look towards your parents and see, if for one of them, they also felt – and had good reason to believe – that no one listened to them.
If you uncover it to be so, then the issue of ‘no one listens to me’ is not yours but is one of your parents.
And the way you release the issue from yourself – and from your parent whose issue it is – is to start listening to that parent and to show them they are being listened to.
When that parent feels they are being listened to, then they release the feeling in them that no one listens to them and when they do that, the feeling in you that ‘no one listens to me’ is similarly released.